‘I would only like money.’

My childhood birthday letter

The frankness of youth. The unminced words of kids. The audacious telling it how it is. Behind the polish of professionalism and the mask of maturity, we’re still kids deep down — so let me put this on full display, because heck, it’s Friday and nothing says Friday like a glimpse of juvenilia.

The other day I found buried in a pile of old papers a letter I wrote when I was a kid. It’s addressed to my grandma and aunts telling them in no uncertain terms what I want for my birthday. Like all great birthday letters it cuts right to the chase:

If you have a hard time deciphering, here’s what it says:

Dear Grandma, Aunt Jenny, Aunt Wendy,
and Aunt tootie I would like to tell
you that for my birthday (Oct. 16)
I would only like money. One
other thing, I would appreciate
it if you could only give $20’s,
and $50’s

Thanks,
Your grandson/nephew
Matthew

P.S. some of the miner things
I would also like include:
1. The new x-men the movie action figures – Wolverine and cyclops or Wolverine and toad please get!
2. Clothes (Nautica and Polo wear)
3. 5-10 packs of Team Rocket Pokémon cards.
4. New addidas/nike tennis shoes from kids footlocker

I don’t know if this letter delights anybody as much as it delights me, but I think my favorite line is ‘One other thing, I would appreciate it if you could only give $20’s and $50’s.’ Wow, what a guy.